Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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