Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
