trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
