so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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