I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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