What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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