I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
