it's great music for shaving your balls
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
