come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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