it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
