DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
