i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
