sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
