why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
