That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
