She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
