'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
