so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
