If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Randomize
