Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
