There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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