Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize