i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
