38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The air taste purple.
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