We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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