I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
