he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
