i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
