HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
