Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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