I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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