brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
