Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
