I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
