apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
