You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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