U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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