You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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