This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
