Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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