i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
as a side note pls kill me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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