those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have post one night stand depression
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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