I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
