No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
