gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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