so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
