I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
