Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
