I got chris browned last night
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
