im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
