plz talk dirty to me
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
